Introductions: Waycest

My name is Mikey and I'm in love with my older brother. God, putting it that way always makes me sound like I'm in one of those Teen AA meetings with Gerard again, Alateen, I think they called it.

We used to go every Wednesday night and sit in the brown metal chairs in the church basement to talk with other people who had grown up like we did. That was two years ago though, back when I was thirteen and innocent. I used to always have to pull Gee (we had pet names) down the street to the meetings. Now, I'm not physically very strong and my brother is a few years older than me and decidedly more muscular than myself, but I knew that if I could just get him into that basement, he would learn something, something he desperately needed to know.

Gee, my older brother, the love of my life, was only fourteen when he started drinking. I knew it was because of my parents, I knew he was imitating them and I knew he just needed out. It was one cold December day when I first realized that he was beyond my help. Snow had fallen thickly in our yard and covered every inch of ground, even that which was hiding in the shadows of the big tree in our front lawn. I was in my bedroom gazing listlessly out at sparkling cold earth when I heard the back door slam and the shaking off of heavy garments. Gee was home. He stomped downstairs to his basement bedroom and I heard his door shut.

Standing up, I crossed the stained carpet of my bedroom and walked quietly into the hallway. My mother was in the living room watching TV. I could imagine her, calmly waiting for my father while flipping absentmindedly through the channels. It would be dark before he got home and he would be drunk. I tiptoed through the kitchen and headed down the stairs to Gerard's room. “Hey Gee? Can I come in?” I said quietly to the door hoping he would hear me. I heard his mattress groan and withing a few seconds the door swung open a crack.

“I'm not feeling the best right now Mikes. I don't think you should see me like this.” my brother whispered to me. I could hear the slur in his voice.

“Why not Gee?” I asked. I had seen him after he had been drinking before and I had always taken care of him regardless.

“I've been drinking. I'm a little messed up.” There was whiskey on his breath. It was an overpowering and pungent aroma and it was wafting straight into my nostrils from the crack in the door. My were starting to water.

“Gee, just let me in please. Let me at least help you clean yourself up; we can't let mom see you this way.” He grunted slightly. I knew he didn't want me to see him, but I could not shake the feeling that he needed me more than he would say.

The door swung open just wide enough for me to slip my slim body through and then it shut behind me. The lights were dim, but I could see the redness in Gerard's eyes. He wasn't lying, but he was more than a little messed up. I glanced around his room. The floor was littered with debris from too many meals eaten in bed and too many hangovers. My brother collapsed back into his bed, his long muscular  and now beaten form lying oddly across the the mussed bedspread and the wrinkled sheet.

“Why do you do this to yourself Gee?” I asked, terrified by what I was seeing, “I care about you so much. Why do you do this?” He grunted and remained motionless. A moment later I heard a low sob escape the mass that was my brother. Sitting on the bed next to him, I placed his head gently in my lap. “Gee, please tell me what's wrong.”

Through sobs and clenched teeth he murmured something softly into my lap. I stroked his raven hair, then turning onto his back, he looked me straight in the eye and said something that almost made my heart skip a beat. “My name is Gerard Way and I'm in love with my younger brother.” My eyes widened. What?

“I'm a sick fuck Mikes, I just can't stand it anymore though, dad coming home drunk, fighting with mom. I saw him hit you just last week. I can't stand it anymore. I drink to forget about all of it and tonight I went too far.”

“Gee...” I trailed off. What could I say to this? “I... I love you too Gee.” I pulled the still sobbing Gee tighter into my arms. “You need to get help. I can't stand to see you destroying yourself this way.”

“I thought about going to the school shrink, but Mikes, I'm in love with you, they'd cart me off to a mental institution.”

“I meant for the drinking, Gee,” I whispered, “My name is Micheal Way and I'm in love with my older brother.”

Gerard sobbed even harder. I couldn't believe what was happening. I craned my neck over his beautiful face and peered deeply into his troubled dark eyes. Without skipping a beat, Gerard leaned up into me, our lips finding each other gently.

We fell asleep like that, his head in my lap and my arms around him. When the first few rays of sun hit my face from the sole window at the top of the wall, I lazily opened my eyes. At first I thought I had had an amazing dream. I looked down and in my arms was Gee. It had been real, encompassing both the good and the bad.

A week later the second best introduction I had ever heard sounded in my ears in the basement of that dingy old church.

“My name is Gerard Way and I'm an alcoholic.”

It would never be as good as Gee's first.